We begin the journey of parenthood with the best intentions but sometimes feel out of our depth as our children grow. As fathers, the responsibility of raising a daughter can seem challenging. We may fear that we won’t connect with our daughter, or that she’ll connect with her mother more. However, by following these three tips, we can ensure that we have a meaningful relationship with our daughter and that we set her up for success in life and future relationships.
#1 Model the Behavior You Want Her to Look for in Her Future Spouse
It’s one thing to talk to your daughter about the kind of man you’d like her to marry someday, but it is another thing to model that behavior. Our daughters look to us for examples of healthy relationships. Do they see a dad who is kind, patient, hard-working, and respectful and loving to their mother? If so, that is the kind of mate they will likely seek as they grow.
[Related: What’s Your Parenting Style?]
Girls take cues from their mothers on so many behaviors, from how to run a home to the best way to make tuna casserole. They especially take note of what is acceptable behavior in a spouse based on how their mother is treated. If our daughters see their mother talked down to or mistreated, we run the risk of raising young women who will think those behaviors are normal rather than something that should be avoided. Tough times happen and our children need to see that mom and dad are committed to each other through thick and thin.
#2 Be Intentional About Time
The years that our children are in our home are gone in the blink of an eye. Don’t squander this precious time sitting in front of the TV or smartphone. Show your daughter that the things that matter to her matter to you. Does she take dance classes, play sports, or have a favorite hobby? Get involved. When your daughter leaves home you will never say, “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time with her!” The memories of time spent together will be something you will both cherish.
#3 Find A Mentor
Find a mentor who is successfully raising daughters, especially if you didn’t have a solid example growing up. We can get the help we need in raising our daughters when we trust the wisdom of others who are farther along than us.
Take full advantage of the time you get to have your daughter in your home. Find ways to show her how important she is to you. Seek the counsel and wisdom of others, and let them help you grow in your role as a father. Your daughter will benefit from your efforts.
- What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What are some of the good things you’ve experienced in having a daughter?
- What are some of your fears about raising a daughter? Why do these fears stand out to you?
- Do you feel you have set a good example of the kind of man you’d want your daughter to marry? Are there any areas where you could improve?
- List three of your daughter’s hobbies or interests. How can you become more involved in sharing those with her?
- Who are some examples in your life of good fathers? What is it about their parenting that you are drawn to? How could you incorporate those traits into how you interact with your children?
- Is there anything stopping you from seeking a mentor? If so, how can you overcome that hesitation?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
