For as much as parents have messages they want their teens to hear, teens also have some messages they want parents to hear.
Talking Points:
- #1 Admit when you’re wrong. Modeling humility speaks louder than a thousand lectures.
- #2 Affirm once in awhile. Parents need to look for opportunities to praise their teenager, whether for doing something without being asked, or just complimenting who they are becoming as a person.
- #3 Don’t dismiss my feelings as “just being moody”. Teenagers are feeling real emotions that may be confusing for them.
- #4 Ask my opinion. Teens want to know that their opinion will be heard and validated, especially when decisions are being made that directly affect them.
- #5 Talking is hard sometimes. Parents need to be patient and let their teenagers come to them when they’re ready to talk. Forcing the conversation only makes them shut down.
- #6 Just be honest. They don’t want to be shielded from the truth but want authenticity no matter how hard it might be.
- #7 Be relatable. Even though teenagers are desperate to grow up, they’re still kids. They don’t want to be treated like little kids but they also don’t want to be treated like an adult.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- For the Parent: how do you feel about the 7 things mentioned? Do you feel like those are fair expectations? Explain.
- For the Parent: Which of the seven are the hardest for you to do as a parent?
- For the Teen: give your parent(s) a grade on each of the items above. How can they improve?
- For the parent: What steps can you take to relate to your teenager in a better way?
- For the teen: What would you add to the list above? How will you help your parents to be more successful in the ways that they relate to you?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
