You can't control what happens to you in life or sports, but you can control whether you receive it as a victim or a victor.

Talking Points:

  • A victim will blame others, while a victor will look to himself. Someone with a victim mentality will say to himself, “Look what others have done to me.” On the other hand, someone with a victor mentality will try to change the situation by looking for what he can do for himself.
  • All a victim wants to hear is lies, while a victor wants to get to the truth. Someone with a victim mentality will seek others who will comfort them with lies about the people who hurt them. On the other hand, someone with a victor mentality will want to hear the truth, even if it hurts their pride.
  • A victim feels like they can’t succeed, while a victor feels like they must succeed. Both kinds of people with a victim or a victor mentality feel like the world is against them. The difference is that the victim feels paralyzed by it, while the victor feels motivated by the criticism of other people.
  • A victim focuses on outward pressures, while a victor focuses on inward confidence. Someone with a victim mentality only sees the problems around them. On the other hand, someone with a victor mentality will look within themselves to find solutions and carry on.
  • A victim uses excuses to quit, while a victor finds ways to keep going. Someone with a victim mentality makes themselves feel better by making excuses for their problems. Someone with a victor mentality won’t waste energy making excuses, but rather, strives to find a good way out of a bad situation.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Were you raised to be more of a victim or a victor in response to difficult situations? Give an example.
  3. Name the last situation where you acted like a victim. Why did you choose to respond that way, and what was the outcome?
  4. Name the last situation where you acted like a victor. What allowed you to overcome your negativity and excuse-making?
  5. List three things outside of your control that you anticipate happening in the near future. How can you respond as a victor instead of a victim in those situations?
  6. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?