Usually when couples fight over money, they're actually not fighting about money. It's deeper than that.

Talking Points:

  • Fights about money are usually rooted in another issue. It might be differing values, trust or even power.
  • Step #1: Write out your personal values by answering the question, “What do I want to spend my money on?”
  • Step #2: Create a basic budget together. Make sure it reflects the values you’ve articulated.
  • Step #3: Build trust through a commitment to the budget and to transparency with spending.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What was the last thing you argued about on the topic of money? What was the fight really about?
  3. Based on Step #1, what are each of your values when it comes to spending money? Are you surprised by your similarities or differences? Explain.
  4. How have you seen your differing values be a source of conflict in your marriage?
  5. Why is it valuable to create a budget that reflects both of your values? Why is it important to stay true to the budget?
  6. How do you both need to improve on earning trust with money? How will you be more transparent moving forward?
  7. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
  8. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
This topic is adapted from the Monika Hoyt YouTube channel.