Parenting teens who want to date can get dicey. We’ve all heard about the tragic, forbidden love of Romeo and Juliet. Here are some tips on how to navigate the waters.
Talking Points:
- Talking about boundaries with your kids is often a better strategy than drawing lines in the sand in reaction to unapproved behavior. Here are a few suggestions for boundaries when your kids reach dating age.
- Make a list of boundaries before your kids start doing things you don’t approve of. If your kids know ahead of time what your expectations are, you can avoid fighting a battle about what the boundaries are and instead focus on when those boundaries are crossed.
- Encourage group settings. Teens shouldn’t be spending excessive amounts of time alone with someone they might like.
- Encourage your kids to avoid going to solitary places, like an empty basement, with kids they may like.
- Encourage your kids to keep the doors open. Closed doors create a false sense of solitude and independence. Open doors remind kids that what they do can be known and that the actions they take will have results outside of that bedroom or basement.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- How old were you when you started dating? How much involvement did your parents have in your dating life?
- Why is it better to have predetermined boundaries rather than to simply react when something happens that you don’t approve of? Give an example of how this could work out or how this could go wrong.
- If you had it your way, how old would your kids be before they started dating? Why?
- What boundaries do you have in place for your kids when it comes to dating? How did you decide upon these boundaries?
- Have you had to adjust boundaries with your kids yet (even ones not related to dating)? Explain.
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
