If you’re a compliant person, you need to watch out for these 4 types of conflicts that can complicate friendships.
Talking Points:
- Compliant-Compliant: You are both afraid to express true desires or to be honest about your preferences-so neither of you get what you want. Learn to speak up.
- Compliant-Aggressive Controller: You are always saying yes to keep the peace while the other person steam rolls- so you get bitter and angry. Learn to say no and stand your ground.
- Compliant-Manipulative Controller: You are always saying yes while the other person takes advantage of you-so you grow bitter and tired. Learn to confront passive aggressive behavior.
- Compliant-Non-responsive: You’re looking for connection but you’re ignored or rebuffed- so you feel rejected. Learn to take a hint and back off.
Discussion Questions:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Describe a friendship that has been challenging for you. Which of the 4 conflicts best describes that friendship?
- What are the potential problems in a friendship with two compliant friends? Why is it important to be able to express your real desires?
- Describe a controlling friend in your life. How does that friendship affect you?
- Have you ever felt taken advantage of by a friend? Explain. Why is it better to be honest about your frustrations compared to just taking it or completely walking away?
- Have you ever been non-responsive to someone in your life? Why? Has someone been unresponsive towards you? What insights can you glean from that?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
