From the Podcast:
Do you know your spouse better than their bestie? You should, and a love map can help.
Talking Points:
- John Gottman talks about a Love Map for couples. The idea is that you spend time getting to know everything about your spouse – down to their salad dressing choice – to demonstrate that you want to know every part of them. It’s about building a friendship with your spouse that will help you ride the rough waves life brings.
- Get to know your spouse in everything from the mundane to their deepest thoughts and fears. Show your love and commitment by being intentional and getting to know your spouse in a way that no one else does.
- These sample questions are adapted from John Gottman’s The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work.
- What’s your favorite dessert?
- What’s your favorite movie?
- What’s your biggest pet peeve?
- Who is your best friend?
- What’s your favorite way to relax?
- How do you feel about your job right now?
- What do you see our kids’ future to be like?
- What qualities do you most value in a friend?
- What was good about your teen years? What was hard?
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale from 1-10, how well do you think you know your spouse? Defend your answer.
- How do you know when a friendship goes from casual to more intimate? What does it communicate to you when someone doesn’t bother to get to know you?
- How did you get to know your spouse in your dating years? What was the motivation back then?
- Why do you think most couples stop “dating” once they’re married? How has your view of cultivating intimacy in your relationship changed since being married?
- In what areas of life could you get to know and understand your spouse more? How did you identify those areas?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
