Apologies are hard but they are vital to having healthy relationships. Yet for many of us, we can’t bring ourselves to apologize. Here are four roadblocks to an apology be aware of in your own life.
Talking Points:
- There are four main roadblocks to a true apology.
- “Innocence.” You don’t feel like you did anything wrong. It’s hard to apologize when you don’t feel like you were in the wrong.
- “Blame-shifting.” You feel like the other person was totally at fault. It’s human nature to place blame somewhere else and to give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
- “Weakness.” You feel like apologizing makes you weak. The truth is, being able to apologize means you have the strength to say you aren’t perfect and you can improve.
- “Failure.” What is the point of apologizing if you will make the same mistake again? It is true that words can be cheap but that shouldn’t be an excuse not to try.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale of 1-10, how quick are you to apologize? Explain.
- Why do you think people have a hard time apologizing?
- Describe a time an apology helped a relationship. Describe a time a lack of an apology hurt a relationship.
- Of the four roadblocks, which one are you most prone to claim? How has that roadblock affected your relationships?
- What are some other roadblocks to making an apology?
- What are some things you can do to get better at making apologies?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
This topic is adapted from the book When Sorry Isn’t Enough by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.
