Gottman's research shows that your overall attitude towards your spouse directly impacts whether your marriage will fail or succeed.
Talking Points:
- Positive Sentiment Override means you choose to see the best in your spouse – focusing on the things you love and respect about them. In conflict, you respond with grace, recognizing that your spouse made a mistake. You forgive and move on.
- Negative Sentiment Override means you choose to see the worst in your spouse – focusing on the things that hurt or annoy you. In conflict, you respond in disgust, concluding that this is just another example of a flawed spouse. You stay bitter.
- All hope isn’t lost even if you’re stuck in the Negative Sentiment Override. Start earning trust with your spouse through healthy communication and intentional time together.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- How have you seen your attitude affect the way you view other things in your life? (Ex. work, vacation, home projects)
- What are some of the traits you admire in your spouse?
- Which sentiment best describes you and your spouse right now? How have you seen your overall attitude help or hurt your relationship?
- If your spouse has failed you, how can you extend grace to them? How could a gracious response change your overall attitude?
- What are the areas where trust needs to be earned in the relationship? What are some practical steps you can take to build trust?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
