You don't have to keep fighting with no resolution. Try a simple trick that gets you listening to your spouse.
Talking Points:
- The Imago Dialogue is a very easy way to stop fighting and make your spouse feel heard. The first step is to let your spouse talk about something that is bothering them, while the other person listens and tries to remember everything they’re saying.
- The second step is to try to repeat back everything that was said. There is no editing or inserting opinions here, it’s simply trying to recite everything that was said before.
- After everything that needs to be said is out there, the last step is to say “I imagine this made you feel…” This exercise will help you listen and empathize with your spouse, and it makes your partner feel like they have a chance to be heard.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Reflect on the last bad conversation you had with your spouse. What went wrong? What part did you play in the failure?
- What is the hardest step for you in the Imago Dialogue? Why?
- Why is it important to not editorialize or give your opinion when doing this exercise?
- How can you as a couple work together to stop the fights?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
