Parenting Teens

Learn the basics of leading teens to become happy, healthy adults.

The Ultimate Goal of Parenting

Posted: October 25, 2017
As parents, we think the ultimate win is having successful, independent kids. Is there something more, though?

Talking Points:

  • Stephen Covey wrote a book that talked about the pathway to maturity which happens in three stages: dependence, independence and interdependence.
  • A dependent child is the young child who can’t feed themselves or take care of themselves in any way. The world revolves around them.
  • An independent child starts to assert themselves and shows a desire to explore and learn about the world around them on their own. This is especially real in the teenage years. This is a less dependent stage but still very much a “me-centered” existence.
  • An interdependent child is independent but realizes that they’re are one part of a greater whole. Instead of just living for themselves, they look for ways to help and serve others.
  • True maturity is about taking ownership of your own life while also looking for ways to serve others and contribute to society in healthy and productive ways.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What were some of your hopes and dreams as a kid? How did those things come to fruition in your life? Did your parents help you to accomplish them?
  3. What is your ultimate goal as a parent? What have you done to make this goal a reality in the lives of your kids?
  4. What was positive about having “dependent” kids?” What was tough? Explain.
  5. How have your kids shown their independent spirit? What has been positive about that? What has been negative?
  6. In what ways can independence be a selfish existence?
  7. Describe the idea of interdependence in your own words. How can you encourage your kids to get to this level of maturity?
  8. What are some practical things you can do to get your kids involved in the community?
  9. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

What’s Your Parenting Style?

Posted: April 28, 2022
Learn which of the three parenting styles best describes you as a parent.

Talking Points:

  • An authoritarian parent is strict and firm. They view their role more like a commander of troops where they give the orders and they expect full obedience. 
  • The Permissive parent is non-confrontational and doesn’t enforce a lot of rules. They view their role as being more of a friend than an authority to be obeyed.
  • The authoritative parent is the balance of the other styles. They view their role as training up their kids to take ownership of their own lives and they invite their kids to express their thoughts and feelings.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. What parenting style best describes how you were raised? Share both positive and negative examples.
  3. What would your kids say is your style of parenting? Why?
  4. What are the dangers of being too rigid with your kids? Explain.
  5. What are the dangers of being too permissive? Explain.
  6. Why is it important to teach your kids to take ownership of their own choices? What are some things you can do to be more authoritative in your approach?
  7. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?

How to Be a Parenting Genius

Posted: December 9, 2021
At times you might feel like you just can’t get through to your kid. No matter how many times you sit them down to teach them a life lesson, it always seems to go right over their head.

Talking Points:

  • The genius parent helps their kids discover the life lesson. Rather than force-feeding the lesson to your kids, take steps to help them discover it on their own. You are simply trying to get them from what they know to what you know.
  • Ask better questions. Instead of just telling them what you know, ask questions that will lead them to discover what you know.
  • Tell stories. Remind them that you were there once. Tell stories that illustrate that you weren’t always as smart as you are now.
  • The takeaway for all of this is to resist the urge to lecture in your next talk. Your child won’t learn from you just talking at them.
Discussion:
  1. Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. Describe a time you had to have a talk with your kid and ended up just giving them a lecture. What was the outcome?
  3. Why do you think kids don’t learn from lectures?
  4. How do your kids learn best uniquely as individuals?
  5. Do you think asking questions and telling stories will help your child discover the life lesson? Why or why not?
  6. Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?