The Fundamental Law of Parenting
Parenting is fundamentally a transfer of ownership over a child’s life from parent to child. Healthy parents work toward this as they bring their kids through three stages.
Talking Points:
- Dependent children can’t feed themselves or take care of themselves in any way. The world revolves around them.
- Independent children start to assert themselves and show a desire to explore and learn about the world around them. This is still very much a “me-centered” existence.
- Interdependent children move beyond selfish independence and start looking for ways to help and serve others. This is true maturity.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- In your childhood, did your parents transfer ownership to you too quickly or too slowly?
- Make a list of the way kids are dependent on their parents in the early years.
- What are some signs that a child is starting to learn independence?
- Explain the difference between “interdependent” and “independent”. When did you first start maturing into interdependence? How can you help your kids do it?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
What’s Your Parenting Style?
Learn which of the three parenting styles best describes you as a parent.
Talking Points:
- An authoritarian parent is strict and firm. They view their role more like a commander of troops where they give the orders and they expect full obedience.
- The Permissive parent is non-confrontational and doesn’t enforce a lot of rules. They view their role as being more of a friend than an authority to be obeyed.
- The authoritative parent is the balance of the other styles. They view their role as training up their kids to take ownership of their own lives and they invite their kids to express their thoughts and feelings.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What parenting style best describes how you were raised? Share both positive and negative examples.
- What would your kids say is your style of parenting? Why?
- What are the dangers of being too rigid with your kids? Explain.
- What are the dangers of being too permissive? Explain.
- Why is it important to teach your kids to take ownership of their own choices? What are some things you can do to be more authoritative in your approach?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
Should We Fight in Front of the Kids?
From the Podcast:
Should you fight in front of your kids? It depends on if you fight in constructive ways or in unhealthy ways.
Talking Points:
- It’s unhealthy to fight in front of your kids if you’re only yelling and screaming. Or, if you’re calling each other’s names. It’s also bad to model storming off and refusing to talk about the issues.
- The goal isn’t to never have conflict. The goal is to do it right. If you never fight in your marriage, that may be a sign that you’re not very invested in the relationship.
- Healthy fighting means you have a conversation. You can state your opinions in a calm fashion. Listen and be respectful. You can disagree and still love each other.
- Once you have the conversation, you move toward solutions. It’s great for your kids to observe that there is growth and change from the conversation.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What did your parents model for you about conflict growing up? How has the impacted your view of conflict as an adult?
- On a scale from 1-10, how bad is your communication with your spouse right now? What’s working? What’s not?
- Describe a time you fought in front of your kids. What do you think they observed about you? How about your spouse?
- Do you feel like you ever come to a resolution when you fight? Explain.
- Why do people resort to insults in times of conflict? What damage can that do to a marriage?
- How do you usually feel after you’ve had an argument? Explain.
- What are some of the bad behaviors you need to stop doing? What are some practical things you can do to help you in times of conflict?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
- What’s Your Parenting Style?
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- Tips for Raising Kids with Disabilities
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- Three Lies We Should Quit Teaching Our Kids
- The Ultimate Goal of Parenting
- The Rise of “Conscious Parenting”: A New Wave of Mindful Connection with Our Kids
- The Fundamental Law of Parenting
- The 3 Stages of Emotional Development in Kids
- The 3 Principles of FLEX Parenting for Kids
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- Teach Your Kids How Not to Play the Comparison Game
- Screen Time and Your Kids
- Parenting a Strong-Willed Child
- Intro to FLEX Parenting for Kids
- I’m Not Your Friend, Kid
- How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn
- How to Help Your Child Cope with Grief
- How to Discipline Younger Kids
- How to Be a Parenting Genius
- How Children and Teens Process Death and Loss
- Here’s How to Start Mentoring Your Kids at Home
- Help, My Kid Is Afraid of the Potty!
- Getting 5 Point Clarity on Parenting
- Fathering When You Can’t Fire Your Kids
- Fathering the Attitude of Your Kids
- Count the Cost of Competitive Sports
- Boundaries In Parenting
- Blending Families: Co-Parenting in the Home
- Avoid the Romeo and Juliet Situation
- Applying Your EQ To Everyday Environments
- 6 Unhealthy Mother-Daughter Relationships
- 4 Steps to Expressing Your Emotions
