Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.

Many engaged or newly-married couples wonder what they should expect or prepare for early in their marriage. The answer? An adventure!

Key Points:

  • If you’re in your first or first couple of years of marriage or if you’ve got friends who are, talking about how it’s going might be better than simply giving or receiving congratulations! The first years are tough.
  • One challenge can be expectations of each other and of ourselves. We often don’t know how to navigate the realities of married life with the ideals we have or those others have for us. These expectations can cause us to feel inadequate.
  • Another challenge is that the mundanity of “real life” can often make it feel like your partner is a “different person,” when they may simply be distracted by their work or other responsibilities.
  • We have to have the right expectations. Marriage is cannot be fun and exhilarating 100% of the time just like a backpacking trip can’t be. Backpacking is tiring, it pushes the backpacker, there are times of enjoyment and beautiful views and wonderful surprises.
  • The experiences of backpacking and marriage are not walks in the park. Rather, they are adventures full of all the experiences, challenges, and emotions life brings. That’s life, that’s marriage, and if you go in knowing that truth, your marriage will be on better footing from the get-go.

Quote This:

Your marriage is a glorious bond but don’t take it as an easy task. It is meant to be worked upon similar to all of your other relationships. -Raymond Eido

Talk About It
  1. What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
  2. If you’re newly-married or engaged, do you feel like you have a safe space or a few safe people you can talk to honestly about the challenges of a new marriage? If you’re not newly-married or engaged, do you seek to create those safe situations for newly-married friends? Explain.
  3. What sort of expectations did (or do) you have for your marriage? Where do you think these expectations come from?
  4. Which of your expectations were fulfilled? Which of them changed? Which of them did you have to toss away altogether?
  5. What are some ways that your marriage/engagement has been an “adventure” for you up to this point (as defined in the video)?
  6. Write a personal action step based on this conversation.