Parents often find it challenging to provide feedback to their teens without sounding critical. Is there a right way to do it?
Talking Points:
- The Do’s:
- Be kind but clear. Remember that your feedback is to help them grow, not to criticize or make them feel bad about themselves.
- Give time to process. They might not see it your way just yet, but hopefully they will later. Be patient.
- Keep earning trust. Spend time with your teen learning what makes them tick and hearing their perspective on life.
- The Don’ts:
- Don’t be passive-aggressive. Veiled criticism – like couching it in joke – only makes your teen feel worse.
- Don’t be a nag. Constant criticism makes your voice quieter, not louder. Choose your battles.
- Don’t lecture. They’ve probably heard your message many times before. Let them own it – and maybe even let them articulate it!
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- Share about the last time you tried to offer feedback to your teen. What went well? What didn’t go well?
- Identify one or two areas where your teen needs some constructive criticism. What would you like to articulate to them? How can you say that kindly?
- Does your teen trust that you have their best in mind? Explain. How can you earn more trust with them?
- Which of the “don’ts” are you most guilty of doing? How will you change your approach moving forward?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?