The second principle for marriage will help you to establish the groundwork of trust for a fulfilling, happy marriage.
Talking Points:
- Trust is “relying on the integrity or ability of another person.” Your ability to trust is based on someone else, not you.
- Marriage Basics #2: Trust is earned, not freely given. It has to be earned by proving your character over and over. Even in a marriage, trust cannot be demanded. It must be earned over time.
- There are three elements to trust- it’s reactive, measurable and it takes time to build.
- Forgiveness is different from trust. Forgiveness is a gift you choose to extend to someone whether they’ve earned it or not.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- On a scale from 1-10, how trusting of a person are you generally? What experiences have shaped your view of trust?
- In what areas have you had a hard time trusting your spouse? Explain. In those areas, what could your spouse do to start earning trust?
- Review the trait of trust: reactive, measurable, takes time. Which trait is most important to you? Why is it important to remember that you can measure trust?
- What role does forgiveness play in earning trust? Is there an area where you need to extend forgiveness to your spouse, even if he/she still has trust to earn?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
