Gaslighting 101: Understanding & Overcoming Manipulative Relationships

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that is often used to maintain control in relationships. It involves lying, denying, spinning and triangulating to make someone question their own reality, sanity and memories. This can cause serious damage to a person’s mental and emotional health, leading to feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and vulnerability. In this blog post, we will delve into what gaslighting is, how it manifests in relationships and how to handle and overcome it.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation that aims to make someone question their own perception of reality. This can be done through lies, denial, spinning, and triangulating, making the person feel confused and uncertain about what is real and what isn’t. The goal of gaslighting is to make the person feel like they’re going crazy, so that the gaslighter can maintain control in the relationship. This can be incredibly damaging, leading to a loss of self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

Forms of Gaslighting

Gaslighting takes many forms and can be very subtle. Some common tactics include:

• Lying about or exaggerating facts: The gaslighter may lie about things that have happened or make up facts to support their version of events. This can make the victim question their own memory.
• Strongly denying something that’s true: The gaslighter may deny something that the victim knows to be true, leading the victim to question their own perception of reality.
• Spinning a narrative toward their “truth”: The gaslighter may spin a narrative that supports their version of events, leaving the victim feeling confused and unsure.
• Triangulating to pit parties against each other: The gaslighter may triangulate by getting others involved, pitting people against each other and causing division.

Spotting Gaslighting in Relationships

Gaslighting can be hard to spot, especially if it’s happening to you. Some signs to look out for include:

• Feeling confused and unsure about what is real and what isn’t
• Second-guessing your own perceptions, memories, and opinions
• Feeling like you’re going crazy
• Having a constant feeling of anxiety and stress
• Losing confidence in your own abilities and decisions
• Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells

Handling and Overcoming Gaslighting

Gaslighting can be a difficult cycle to break, but it is possible to handle and overcome it. Here are some steps to take:

• Name it and trust your intuition: Acknowledge that gaslighting is happening and trust your intuition. You know what you’re feeling and experiencing, and it’s important to trust that.
• Keep a record of your conversations: Keeping a record of your conversations can help you see patterns and provide evidence in case you need it.
• Draw boundaries and don’t take responsibility for someone else’s brokenness: It’s important to draw clear boundaries and not take responsibility for someone else’s brokenness. You can’t fix or change someone else, but you can take care of yourself.
• Seek support: Reach out to friends and family for support, or consider therapy. Talking to a professional can help you process your feelings and gain clarity.

Conclusion

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can have serious effects on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. It’s important to be aware of the signs of gaslighting and take steps to protect yourself. Remember to trust your intuition, keep a record of conversations, draw clear boundaries, and seek support when needed. By understanding and handling gaslighting, you can reclaim your power, build your self-esteem, and move forward in a healthier, happier direction.

If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting, it’s important to seek help. Talk to friends, family, or a mental health professional for support and guidance. There’s no need to face this challenge alone. With the right tools and support, you can overcome gaslighting and create a better, brighter future.