Do you feel like you chose a partner that’s a lot like one of your parents? It’s a natural thing to be attracted to what is familiar, but that doesn’t mean it’s the healthiest.
Talking Points:
- We tend to seek people who recreate the feelings of love we received as a child and often choose partners on that basis. Without knowing it, we may be seeking familiarity more than anything else.
- You can’t change people, but you can change yourself and thoughtfully (and healthily!) adapt to your partner or to someone you’re interested in
- Every partner has things about them that are both easy and challenging. We have to learn to deal with the compelling challenges that come with loving and relating to other people.
Discussion:
- Initial reactions to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What are some ways that you see your upbringing as an important determining factor for your relationship or the kind of people you are looking to meet?
- Do you think it’s true that we seek familiarity? Why or why not?
- Why is it important for us to be adaptable when it comes to the behaviors of others?
- Do you think it’s true that we can’t change people? Explain.
- What behaviors or attitudes do you have that can be challenging for your partner/potential partner? Why?
- What behaviors or attitudes do you find irritating in your spouse/potential partner? Explain.
- What parts of a relationship can you control?
- Is there a step you need to take based on today’s topic?
