Watch the video above and talk about it with a group or mentor. Learn more.
Tammy Nelson, PhD, leads a panel of experts in talking about how to make marriage a priority in an ever changing world.
Key Points:
- The key to marriage is good communication. No matter how much society changes, this basic truth remains the same. Couples need to have constant connection between one another in order to keep their marriage healthy. Keeping focused on each other will help couples roll with any changes in the world around them.
- The inability to deal with conflict is to blame for failed marriages. Too many times, people instead blame the institution of marriage itself. Since people do not know how to handle conflict and anger, they decide to give up on their marriages. Couples need to learn how to deal with their negative feelings and fix their relationships, instead of just giving up their commitment to one another.
- It’s time to change from a vertical model of marriage to a horizontal model. The vertical model of marriage is where someone is always in charge of the other person. It is self-focused on what the individual can get out of the marriage. On the contrary, a horizontal model of marriage is more like a partnership. It is primarily focused on the other person, rather than yourself. Conversations between partners in a horizontal model of marriage is more like a dialogue, rather than a monologue like in a vertical model of marriage.
- A healthy marriage makes a healthy society. If couples want to have emotionally healthy kids, they need to have an emotionally healthy marriage. Our society as a whole will even benefit from more healthy marriages. Helen Lakelly Hunt, Ph.D., says that a good marriage is, “the best upriver prevention for all down river clean up.” In other words, healthy marriages can prevent common problems that usually plague communities.
Quote This:
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -Mignon McLaughlin
Talk About It
- What is your initial reaction to this topic? What jumped out at you?
- What are some of the challenges that marriages are facing today?
- How can couples better connect and communicate with one another?
- What advice would you give a couple that are fighting and angry with one another?
- What’s wrong with a vertical model of marriage? What are the benefits of a horizontal model of marriage?
- How can a healthy marriage make their kids more healthy? How can a healthy marriage make society more healthy?
- Write a personal action step based on this conversation.
This topic is adapted from the Your Tango YouTube channel.
